Imperfect Perfection

You know, there’s something about the gospel that’s really interesting: we emphasize often how we need to help others, and turn outwards to truly develop. And there is definitely truth to that. 

But now that I have your attention, there’s something else I want to add to that: ever though about how we might need to focus on ourselves first? 

This week has been crazy, and I came to realize today that everything around it focused on me trying to get to the point where I wanted to be. I’ve been scrambling trying to get a portfolio ready while simultaneously keeping up with schoolwork, and praying for the strength and ability to be ok so that I can accomplish all the tasks that seem worthy - I want to do well at school, and it feels right to try and switch my major with this portfolio application in a couple of weeks. Sp, consequently, I’ve been focused on myself and trying to stay afloat with help and strength from the atonement of Jesus Christ. 

It’s been rough. But in addition to that, I realized last night in my personal prayers that I was completely focused on myself. That’s a little frustrating, and I know that I probably have passed up opportunities to love and serve others, but at the same time, I don’t feel guilty. It feels like its totally ok for me to focus on myself, thanks to the spirit. And I thought to myself, why is that an ok thing to do? 

Well, after searching up the topic of “improving yourself” on lds.org, I noticed a common theme - If you’re not comfortable with your own identity, there’s no way you can focus on other people. Without truly recognizing your divine potential, that you are a child of God that deserves to learn and grow and develop your strengths, there’s no way you can use those strengths to help others. That makes a lot of sense. I really need the chance to grow and develop at this point in time, because I faced some tough things health wise that put me in a position to not really help other people yet. We need to ensure that we don’t take on more than we can handle, that : we don’t “run faster than we can walk,” as King Mosiah said. So, find those strengths, pray about them. And be ok with self-improvement, because we’re all imperfect. It was a beautiful and comforting thought this week.